a week from now, im gonna see him again..how does he look like now? yeah, i wanted to see him soon but seeing him would mean i have to attend my classes, do and possibly pass my requirements, take exams, perform unending return demos.. in short, seeing him and having his company would bring me to a mental suicide.. in order for me to satisfy my emotional needs, i have to deal with all those s***s of mental suffering.. yet all through this vacation i never got the chance to worry about schoolworks.. all i ever think of is him and the sweet company he's giving me..
my worries are for myself coz i'm starting to fall for him.. i worry that i'm gonna fall so deep for him.. i've been protecting myself from hurts that i could get from loving people of the opposite sex. i've been covered up by the people around me whom have been hurt by what they call love and prevented me from getting into it.. they were deeply hurt. upon breakups or conflicts, they would all come to me. i could almost imagine how frustrated and sad they are. they would all look the same. teary eyed, full of silence. you could even smell the tension they're into. then they would bow their heads down as if its the only resort to catch themselves up from losing their self-esteem. sits quietly, run their fingers through their hair and cry. they pour out their sentiments i cant barely understand.. they talk about LOVE..
i always try to say something, but as far as everyone could see it, my words are worthless, they're nothing.. for they came from somebody who knew nothing about pains in love. but i wanted to keep them company, if thats the least thing i could do to lessen their pain.. they often tell me afterwards how grateful they are to have me as their friend., and i'm not even aware of what i did.. but then they come to me when love crisis strikes them again... and again.. and again..
through all these experiences i've witnessed, i came to realize loving is hard and painful. i'm aware of where i stand and i know i'm not that strong.. everyone could have also expected me to be weakling.. that's why i don't, in as much as THEY don't want me to fall inlove knowing that i can't handle the pain it would bring.
my worries are for myself coz i'm starting to fall for him.. i worry that i'm gonna fall so deep for him.. i've been protecting myself from hurts that i could get from loving people of the opposite sex. i've been covered up by the people around me whom have been hurt by what they call love and prevented me from getting into it.. they were deeply hurt. upon breakups or conflicts, they would all come to me. i could almost imagine how frustrated and sad they are. they would all look the same. teary eyed, full of silence. you could even smell the tension they're into. then they would bow their heads down as if its the only resort to catch themselves up from losing their self-esteem. sits quietly, run their fingers through their hair and cry. they pour out their sentiments i cant barely understand.. they talk about LOVE..
i always try to say something, but as far as everyone could see it, my words are worthless, they're nothing.. for they came from somebody who knew nothing about pains in love. but i wanted to keep them company, if thats the least thing i could do to lessen their pain.. they often tell me afterwards how grateful they are to have me as their friend., and i'm not even aware of what i did.. but then they come to me when love crisis strikes them again... and again.. and again..
through all these experiences i've witnessed, i came to realize loving is hard and painful. i'm aware of where i stand and i know i'm not that strong.. everyone could have also expected me to be weakling.. that's why i don't, in as much as THEY don't want me to fall inlove knowing that i can't handle the pain it would bring.
No comments:
Post a Comment