I don’t know how I should start
this one. I feel like I shouldn’t be posting this for I regretted the last time
I posted a not so good article about her. I was guilty for it seemed I made her
look like the villain in my not-even-close-to-perfect life story when I knew
parts of it were my mistakes too. It takes two to tango, right?
This happened during the
Halloween. I was supposed to be hosting a dinner for my friends. We kind of
regularly meet each other and the venue’s always been the house for numerous
reasons only my friends could ever think of. Anyways, I really didn’t want to.
I begged them hard, made stupid excuses in order for the dinner not to be held
at my place. When it seemed like I couldn’t convince them, I finally asked my
dad’s permission. And he agreed. When I got home, I also informed her about the
dinner. She didn’t said anything so I took that as a yes. Later in the
afternoon, when were about to start cooking, she had gone up all wild acting so
different. I would have remained silent the way I always do when she goes too
far and unbearable. And for the whole years I lived with her, this wasn’t rare.
And I don’t usually say ‘hey, my aunt and I had a fight again’ or ‘hey, my aunt
just nagged me again’. Not to anyone, not to my friends nor to my parents. Coz if I did,
I would just bore them every day. But that time, my friends were the ones who came
up to me and told me they’re afraid of her because she’s acting rude.
So at that moment I realized she really had gone too far.
But what can I do? It’s as if I can tell
it straight to her. In her eyes, she’s always right.
Am I really that difficult to love or care about? After the
operation, I thought things are gonna
change. I pledged to straighten every relationship I have. Let go of the ones I
don’t and can’t have and be grateful and give importance to the ones left. As
to her, I wanted to make up for the wasted times and replace the not so good
memories with good ones. After all, we’re family. Well, at least she is to me.
That makes me wonder whether things would ever be fixed between
us. If ever time will come when she’ll realize that maybe at some point, I had
been right also. I know I did some terrible things during my younger days.
Maybe it’s the price I have to pay. And I’m not fully paid yet.
