Tuesday, June 18, 2013

stranger

 I have been hesitant to post about this coz it may seem nonsense or yeah, creepy👻. But anyway, this is a journal of mine and i never started this out being anonymous if im gonna hold back.

So, i have been checking out/following/stalking (whatever you'd prefer to call it) a certain blogpost of a stranger which i guess i've mentioned quite long ago. I was clicking the next blog icon till i came across to his blog and later on found myself hooked up. so okay, what's the point of me writing this down? I don't know either. It's not like he'll ever gonna read this or that he'll ever know. though, ill be glad if he would.

I sound like a fan now. Maybe i am. or a stalker? I hope not. Yet.. 😅

Ok, seriously why am i blogging about him. Some stranger who'll never gonna find out? Maybe that's basically the reason why. since im a control freak posting articles under the code name of tissue_paper03 it's a fearless act coz he'll never gonna know who i am.

Through the years that i've followed his blog i came to feel his presence. That someone out there is feeling or have felt the things that im going through. Since im not really the kind of person who disturbs a random person ranting about things im not sure they would understand, knowing someone out there who ever felt the same is comforting enough for me. It gives me the assurance that somehow, im not living alone.

There had been updates of his life that im left asking what made him did it. Or why had he chosen to let go instead of holding on. Or whether he really is happy coz he let go. Was it worth it to just let things be broken? I don't know the real story behind his every article. But later on found myself relating to it. that maybe it was the right thing to do at the moment.

from time to time, i check on to his blog but realizing that he never got to update for a year now gets me a little disappointed. i know its not a responsibility nor an obligation. But i hope one day he'll again continue.

Maybe, i just want you to know that someone right here have been swept by your articles. Well, along with many others perhaps. so to you, i hope you won't stop. It may seem nonsense or just plain nothing but it did helped me out. So, thank you.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

I'm sorry..



i hope the friendship will be patched up someday.

I pray that somehow, even though i decided to take a break from all of it, and some people may have replaced my role in your life, i still occupy a place in your heart. i know things are a little bumpy now, well at least for me but i look forward to that day when we'll be able to catch up, and i'll be able to cope up.

For now, i'm sorry. i'm sorry if you feel that i may have abandoned you. even though not-so-good things happened, i believe things still remain to be the same. coz it used to be that way for us. later on i realized that's it's actually been a long time since we last hang out, and that maybe i have forgotten how it felt like anymore. for the first time in a decade, i felt lost and out of place with the people i've always been comfortable hanging out with.

I knew, something had changed. and that change can't be undone nor can it be halted. it has to happen for us to grow up. Sadly, it also means we have to grow apart. but whatever happens to friendship, i hope it won't at least end.

In time things will be fixed up. i won't go along pretending everything is fine anymore. but that doesn't mean that i'm giving it up.

Sorry for doing this. And sorry for forgetting how it felt like. I'm sorry coz i forgot how to be a friend. Sorry, i changed. and forgive me now coz i'm taking a break from all of it. I'm a little broken now. And the friendship can't be fixed with a cracked up member in it.

maybe i should have remembered these