i found this entry from my documents and it written i think when i just turned 20. And it feels awkward coz im supposed to gaze back and reminisce the feeling. but i ended up relating to it still.. as if nothing happened for a year and a half..
Nothing is permanent.. Nothing that you have today will be yours forever.. I’ve lost some of the important things through the course of my college days.. my gadgets, cellphones, money, receipts, id’s, bags and clothes. . I’ve lost them as if they would be too easy to be replaced.. as if they have their own minds of leaving me to remind me of how I needed to be responsible enough.. yeah, at some point I’ve forgot about them and moved on but times like this reminds me how much I still regret of losing them.. but you know what actually hurts me more than anything else now is the fact that material things aren’t the only ones intended to be lost or separated.. sometimes, it kills you bigtime when you see the people you value living their own life without you now.. and you see yourself living your own, happy yet incomplete still..
Today, I wanted to share some emotions which I intend of keeping coz I feel like no one could understand me better when everyone seems to have found what they needed in life.. and it’s too damn frustrating that I’m here sitting alone with no one on my side and still haven’t made up my mind on how will I run my life.. I’m left with, well, my family whom will soon take me for granted or the other way around.. I was so ambitious, and now I can’t even think of any dream to motivate me further.. I’m stuck with relatives and family.,. I’m not saying that its bad, but you can’t blame me when sometimes I search for someone else.. and the sad part is, I could find no one.. you see, I only have these people who are owned by somebody else.. hey, a LOYAL SECOND PRIORITY awardee is in the house.. OR sometimes it goes this way.. today you have them.. you can relate with each other.. you share the same stories, the same views and opinions.. then the right one for them comes along, they fall in love.. and you’re left with that same vision ALONE.. maybe ready to find another person whom at the end will do the same thing.. Am I cursed or something?? What the hell Is wrong with me???
