dated 3/15/13
WANTED: FRIENDS!
Seriously, where are they? What do I have left? whom do i have left?
I felt this the last time I saw her and since then it
bothers me more than ever. I’ve never felt insecure over her other friends
before for I knew I would always be the best friend. Along the way, I didn’t
know what happened. Things seemed to be different. One, or maybe both of us
changed and so is the friendship. I
didn’t know it was coming because I was busy with my own pain. The year went
tough for me, maybe it was too for her, I didn’t know. I didn’t ask. I didn’t
check. I pushed people away. I thought the ones who love me enough could wait
and would stay. And yes, some held on, waited till I come back to life. While
most of them pulled back and left. Sadly, she was one of them. She grew tired
of me. Finally. And there goes our friendship for 10 years.
WANTED: FRIENDS!
Seriously, where are they? What do I have left? whom do i have left?
I felt this the last time I saw her and since then it
bothers me more than ever. I’ve never felt insecure over her other friends
before for I knew I would always be the best friend. Along the way, I didn’t
know what happened. Things seemed to be different. One, or maybe both of us
changed and so is the friendship. I
didn’t know it was coming because I was busy with my own pain. The year went
tough for me, maybe it was too for her, I didn’t know. I didn’t ask. I didn’t
check. I pushed people away. I thought the ones who love me enough could wait
and would stay. And yes, some held on, waited till I come back to life. While
most of them pulled back and left. Sadly, she was one of them. She grew tired
of me. Finally. And there goes our friendship for 10 years.
She found her new friends. Friends maybe who stayed with her
when she needed a friend most too. Friends who understood her when I couldn’t
be a friend to anyone else. Friends who held her hand when I’m busy mending my
own self. Friends who didn’t leave her for some selfish reasons. Friends who
aren’t like me.
I don’t wanna lose hope. Till now I still want to believe
that were still are the best friends. That I am still her bestfriend coz she
still is to me. I still want to think that maybe our friendship just got lost
somewhere. That maybe it just withered and a little irrigation could save it.
I don’t know. Maybe I should just be happy for her and move
forward too. It’s really hard now. It seems like my friend list had been
reformatted. Everyone falls down at some point. Everyone has their own problem.
We never expected each of us to be always there. That’s the reason why the
friendship lasted. How can she replace me just like that? How can she be
friends with everybody now except me? How can she blatantly claim other friends
she just met to be someone who knows her very much.
I asked for renewed and improved life. But Lord, does that
mean I can’t keep those that I already had?
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