Deep down i know i have to blog so i could unload some weights that I'm having at the moment but i just don't know where to start..
And yes, that's exactly the problem coz i don't know how to begin anymore. It feels like I'm back to to this post but somehow i feel even worse. Now i have a clearer picture of my dream, the motive, and the ambition but now I'm more scared that i might fall back even harder.
I know i shouldn't be. Coz whatever happens, two things are bound to happen, either you move forward or you learn a lesson. Both a good thing. I always remind myself of this everyday, along with other encouragements like be brave, just take the first step, etc. etc. but along the way my afraid-self kicks in and eventually wins. Im aware that this won't get me anywhere but i just couldn't help it. It's easier said than done. And its giving me a real hard time.
No i definitely won't surrender but i can't take the first step either. What am i supposed to do? Do i need more time? For what? Am i not wasting so much time yet?
I've missed some good opportunities and most of all friends coz i've given myself so much 'time'. That maybe the reason why i got sick was because i'm moving too fast. That maybe i have to take things slow so i could enjoy the ride.
Then suddenly a realization struck me. You see i have this habit of putting a deadline to whatever i do. To listing down the things i need to do down to every detail. Of course it helps especially to someone like me who easily forgets things. Evidences..
But now, maybe i don't really need this. I have my own lifestory. I shouldn't compare the achievements of others to mine coz i will have my own. Maybe my career, my love just took a right turn on some streets and would be here soon.
Yes, i'll take it slow. Maybe the reason why I'm stressing out is because I pressure myself too much. And now, i won't anymore.. I'll take it one step at a time..
And yes, that's exactly the problem coz i don't know how to begin anymore. It feels like I'm back to to this post but somehow i feel even worse. Now i have a clearer picture of my dream, the motive, and the ambition but now I'm more scared that i might fall back even harder.
I know i shouldn't be. Coz whatever happens, two things are bound to happen, either you move forward or you learn a lesson. Both a good thing. I always remind myself of this everyday, along with other encouragements like be brave, just take the first step, etc. etc. but along the way my afraid-self kicks in and eventually wins. Im aware that this won't get me anywhere but i just couldn't help it. It's easier said than done. And its giving me a real hard time.
No i definitely won't surrender but i can't take the first step either. What am i supposed to do? Do i need more time? For what? Am i not wasting so much time yet?
I've missed some good opportunities and most of all friends coz i've given myself so much 'time'. That maybe the reason why i got sick was because i'm moving too fast. That maybe i have to take things slow so i could enjoy the ride.
Then suddenly a realization struck me. You see i have this habit of putting a deadline to whatever i do. To listing down the things i need to do down to every detail. Of course it helps especially to someone like me who easily forgets things. Evidences..
But now, maybe i don't really need this. I have my own lifestory. I shouldn't compare the achievements of others to mine coz i will have my own. Maybe my career, my love just took a right turn on some streets and would be here soon.
Yes, i'll take it slow. Maybe the reason why I'm stressing out is because I pressure myself too much. And now, i won't anymore.. I'll take it one step at a time..
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